10 Tips in Giving Criticisms

I kept on forgetting to share these ten important tips in giving criticisms by John Maxwell. Important because people tend to hurt other people through criticisms. They knew they are giving constructive criticisms and therefore helping the person concerned, but they didn't know that there is a right way to do it. I was guilty of that, as a mother to my kids, as a wife, and as a friend. Through these tips, I've realized my mistakes, and I hope that others will too, as soon as possible, because the sharpest knife that can hurt a loved one is your own tongue.

1. Check your motive.
The goal of the confrontation is to help, not to humiliate.

2. Make sure the issue is worthy of criticism.

3. Be specific.
When you confront you must be tactfully explicit. Say exactly what you mean and provide examples to back yourself up.

4. Don't undermine the person's self-confidence.
Try to find at least one area in which you can praise the person before you expose the problem.

5. Don't compare one person with another. (A lot of people make this very common mistake).
Deal with people on an individual basis. Comparisons always cause resentment and resentment causes hostility.

6. Be creative or don't confront.
Look beyond the problem and see if you can help find some solutions.

7. Attack the problem not the person.

8. Confront when the time is right.
The right time is just as soon as you know something is wrong.

9. Look at yourself before looking at others.
Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.

10. End confrontation with encouragement.
Always end confrontation with the "sandwich treatment". Sandwich the criticism between praise in the beginning and encouragement at the end.